Teaching about Divorce and Remarriage by Aaron Budjen https://www.livinggodministries.net/living_god_ministries/radio_archive/divorce.htm I have never been a fan of pastoral counseling......if i need Christian counseling i will come here or to other believers. If i need counseling i will go to a counselor. Licensed by the state....with insurance and covered by law, statute, and regulations. There is a time and a place for both and neither should swerve into the other 's lane. To me, counseling this woman as they may have done is counseling malpractice. Or maybe i am not seeing the full story which often happens with the media. Blessings! Whit John McArthur's church uses Nouthetic Counseling, which basically tries to equally blame the abuser and the victim. About a dozen years ago, my family went through a very hard time that involved a case of depression and we went searching for answers everywhere. That is when I got introduced to nouthetic counseling. Nouthetic counseling in a nutshell is a conservative Christian style of counseling where modern psychology is rejected and answers for all psychological problems (including mental illness) are supposedly found in the Bible. Some of the greatest damage my family ever experienced has come from nouthetic teaching. I remember buying a particular popular DVD series (in conservative circles) and then watching as that family member struggled with being told by the teacher that her depression was a result of sin and unbelief. I bought into that rubbish too and only when I was able to personally change did that family member get the help she needed. I will not deny that some depression cases could be a result of sin but her problem was not sin. It was a medical issue and when we approached it that way, she was quickly on the way to getting healed. Looking back, I can see that period of my life changed my perspective on certain things and my eyes were opened. I began to see how conservatism can be a dangerous thing if the wrong things are being conserved. I started to see that the church (at large) has a tendency to conserve horrific, extra-Biblical traditions in some cases, eschewing modern advancements in areas such as psychology and medicine and essentially enslaving people to bondage for no reason. Remember this: conservatism is only good when it is conserving things that deserve to be conserved. To be fair, some modern psychology IS garbage. Also, not all nouthetic counselors are so extreme as to discard everything modern psychologists say. For example, some of them recognize that some mental issues can be medical in nature rather than sin. Some of them don’t throw guilt on victims and cast the blame on them for all the problems in their lives. However, nouthetic counseling in general leans too much toward blaming the oppressed for me to recommend it a lot of the time. The way this plays out in abuse is this: when a victim goes to a nouthetic counselor for help, especially if she is a woman, she is likely to be told that the abuser needs to fix the sin in his life but the problems in the marriage are her fault too. She is not nice enough, not respectful enough, not obedient enough, not submissive enough. The woman goes back into the fray determined to try harder. No one tries harder to fix a broken marriage than an abuse victim. https://greghowlett.com/blog/thoughts/the-dangers-of-counselors-abuse-series-part-8.aspx The doctrines of men and demons have long been around! The Bible warning us they would flourish in the last days! Common sense and spiritual wisdom are invaluable tools! Again, always directing people to be “led by the Spirit”! Knowing the Spirits voice and leading He will teach us all things! Sadly, the pastor shepherding movement can and has been miss-applied! Attempting to substitute God’s Holy Spirit by men! TR Here is another article that explains the damage that this "Biblical" nouthetic counselling can do. https://heresthejoy.com/2017/09/heres-an-abuse-survivors-plea-about-nouthetic-biblical-counseling/ I used to go to an independent church that, eventually I learned, basically believed that divorce was the greatest sin. The woman was supposed to always be submissive and never, never, no matter what, ever leave her husband. Just tolerate the man, fit in with his plans. I kind of got sucked into that way of thinking for a time, before I realized that husbands and wives were meant to be partners and could make decisions together. I started to think of it as "the church of husband worship" and even though I had friends there (some of whom were divorced and felt so guilty), I had to leave. I regret the time I wasted there and some decisions that my husband made during that time that I should not have let stand. I wasn't going to say anything, but since you did I say wholeheartedly agree! I think medical science can be from the hand of God just as easily as raising Lazarus or healing Peter's mother in law. Professional counselors have their place as do prescribed meds. These are biological issues being treated....sometimes an anti-depressent or anti-anxiety med helps to level out the chemicals and get one over the hump. In fact, sometimes it is better to have a professional counselor as (usually) there is no hidden agenda and they provide a safe space to step back, explore, and formulate a way ahead. I have never heard of nouthetic counseling, but it seems to be part and parcel why i am afraid of it. Thanks for the share. Whit Here is what I believe: if you are saved you are already a permanent sealed member of the only church that counts for eternity. A local church cannot tell you this or that in their rules determines your eternal destiny. Their "excommunication" cannot separate you from your eternal destiny. To anyone who is told to just put up with abuse in a church, just leave. Sometimes I wanna divorce myself! Wonder if that would be allowed??? Or divorce myself from small minded church people! TR
It clarifies misunderstanding of Divorce and Remarriage in many Christian Communities. 
