Last night a young woman, 17, failed to yield, made a poor driving decision, and left-turned right into my lane. We collided. Ugghh!!! Thankfully, no one was hurt, but my 1995 Toyota Corolla, used every day as reliable transportation for me to-and-from work, is probably going to have to be totaled. As you can guess, it won't take much of a damage assessment to cause her insurance company to conclude it will be cheaper to pay me somewhere (I'm guessing on this) between $800-1800 to total the car than to fix the side panel, replace the broken headlamp, and repair whatever other damage there might be. If that happens, I will need to go buy a new used car, which I really don't have the money just sitting around for. Ugghh! ( I had often prayed that this car would serve me, and given thanks for it doing so, until the Lord returned for the harpazo. Looks like He better hurry if that is going to happen.) Woke up this morning so aggravated and upset by the whole thing. I feel like that car. Old, and beat-up, and having trouble running properly. I really didn't have the bandwidth in my life, emotionally, financially or spiritually to deal with this. And on top of it all, I am fighting some kind of sickness with a sore throat and just not feeling that great physically. This is the kind of crap (and You know the word I would really like to use Abba) that I am so weary of dealing with in this world. It brings up fears of lack of provision. Makes me angry with the Lord. Makes me so want out of here. I am really tired of struggling to survive in this fallen, sinful mess and really tired of dealing with my own sinful nature. Would appreciate prayers for grace to press on and healing. If the Lord chooses not to come in the next few days, I have to get on a plane and fly to California for my daughter's graduation. It would be nice to feel halfway decent physically in dealing with that. And I'm not sure what I am going to do for transportation until then. Add to that the fact that in three weeks, if we are still here, I have to travel back to Kansas to participate in a parole hearing to keep my nephew in prison for brutally murdering his mother and sister 25 years ago. I walked in and found the bodies. I am going there to have my say before the parole board on why, no matter how model of a prisoner he may have been over the past 25 years, he does not deserve his freedom. Forgiveness, yes. A chance to hear and decide about the gospel, yes. Freedom from prison in this life. No. His mom and sister don't have that option and neither should he. Do you ever feel so d*** weary of dealing with this world that you just weep and long to be gone? :prayer-hands: :prayer-hands: :prayer-hands: soon! :flyup: :flyup: :flyup: My heart is breaking with all you are going through. I am praying for God to heal your body and give you His strength to endure this trial. I pray for Jesus to fill you with His peace as you face your nephew and ask Him for the opportunity for you to speak the truth of the gospel to all those involved. Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might! Watchman, ah it is a sadness that goes beyond understanding. What you have witnessed and continue to relive is more than hard. May our comforter give you grace and peace surround you with His Devine nature to speak the truth with power. May the God of heaven uplift you from the mental fatigue these events cause. So should I pray for a car or for us to fly, hmmmm ok - if the Lord terries past June, a car that you can get with insurance money and you can sue for damages of inconvenience and mental anguish. Then you can drive a Beamer until Jesus comes for us, just saying! Love ya in Christ! You so got this! :yes: :yahoo: :wacko: :bye: :prayer-hands: :prayer-hands: Tammie says, "Then you can drive a Beamer ..." Just imagine our own Watchman35 at last going up in a Sun Beamer !! Here's a very old but related Sunday School song from my early youth. I hope it brightens something. Alongside prayers for you Watchman, can your church/leadership help in any way, even if only by keeping you in their prayers? Can any one of the members or anyone else loan you a car? Can the insurance company provide a car?? My Van was hit and declared totaled, but I'm still driving it. Is it possible you might get away with minimal repairs to keep use of it? Tho possibly not beautiful, but still functional? Is there a local friend/anyone there who can support you as you walk through this. The enemy has stolen from you, and anger disappointment and hurt is understood, but it's important to run to the Lord and not be angry with Him. Just blurt out to Him all you are feeling - everything! Forgive anything needing forgiveness. Trust Him to help, to guide; sense His presence and faithfulness. Lord, come near to Watchman in these things he's facing. Hold him close in your reassurance and love that You have the answers he needs. Give him Your wisdom for each situation, and carry him through each one in Jesus Name. That Your beloved may be delivered, save me by Your right hand and answer me! Ps 60:5 He trusted on the LORD that He would deliver him: let Him deliver him, seeing he delighted in Him. Ps 22: 8 Our Father Who art in heaven.... Watchman, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I do love your sense of justice: I think your nephew should stay in prison because of what he did. I will pray for transportation, finances and that you will be able to attend your daughter's graduation. I will pray for your healing. Hang in there hugs watchman, how are you? how did the parole hearing turn out? Hi Regina. Right now I am still driving the car banged up. Insurance will total the car if I file a claim. Going to have someone just pull the fender out to keep it from scraping against the tire. Yeah, there goes any chance of being the cover vehicle for that auto classic magazine. I was sure my '95 Corolla was destined for fame and fortune. LOL. The parole hearing was painful. Won't know the board's decision until September. I hope we're gone by then. I don't know how much more of this world I can tolerate.
were you able to replace the car or did the insurance agree to fix it?
praying for you today, agreeing with you about longing for the Lord.