My earthly father was an adulterer and an alcoholic. I know he loved me and my siblings would tell you that I was his favorite. But, I lived in fear that he would molest me. One time when in my 20's, I was alone with him in his house and I did not sleep all night because there was no lock on the door and I stayed up all night worrying he would come in. Praise God he was drunk enough that he slept. This world is so sick, can't wait to find out what a real Father is like. All that is to say that I have never felt at home in this world and have always wanted a way out! Your heavenly Father far outshines any earthly father! Sorry for your loss however! TR Again, my wife was molested by her father from the age of two thru thirteen! Can't begin to elucidate upon all the ways she was broken! And yet I was chosen to love her! TR I too did not have an earthly father that was a godly man, I feared him, hated him, and loathed him ... I never heard the words I love you and never wanted a close relationship with my dad. He was cruel and manipulative. He did not believe in God, until the end of his life, and I’m not 100% sure about that either. In the end, I forgave him and took care of him until his death about 8 yrs ago. Love of the Father has always been a foreign concept to me, I can only equate it to the love I have for my own husband and children, that is far smaller than what I believe to be Gods holy, unconditional love. Even the patriarchs were not always model parents or husbands! They were human! TR That's awesome Yohanan, we are the Ritanians..... it's sounds like we come from another age.....we are the Ritanians from the land of Ritan....of which we debate as a group about coffee vs tea whilst we watch for our Lord and though we feel that He tarries, however we know the He doth not.... :flyup: It always breaks my heart to hear of people, Christian sibling in particular, who have suffered a difficult childhood. Even if they have overcome it, it still moves me deeply. I cannot imagine such a life. My love to you all! I look forward to when we have no more memories of the difficult things we've endured here. I know everyone has a story of hardship and difficulties, it's just difficult to think of these things happening to a child. Children should never know what terror feels like! I am apprehensive in some ways in standing before God. I still struggle with sin. I was cursing at the radio yesterday over the blatent lies coming out of the mouth of the unelected health bureaucrat, for example. I recently read a book about near death experiences and the common theme was that upon meeting Jesus, you were overwhelmed by His love. Sort of like the prodigal son who had things all worked out before meeting his father: 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’ 20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry. Luke 15:18-23 The prodigal son had things all worked out but he was literally overwhelmed by the love of his father. I believe that is a beautiful picture of God's love and what it will be like to meet Him. So true! TR Ever since I first saw this pic I have loved it!
I too have watched the Chosen series —- season one about 4 or 5 times each episode and season two, all four episodes at least twice now. Jonathan Roumie does a superb rendition of how human Christ was. This series has made me feel much more comfortable with meeting Jesus face to face, but I still feel as Yohanan mentioned, fully unworthy and wholly grateful that He chose me and knows my name. I can identify with many aspects of each character in the series.
I am who I am by the Grace that God bestowed, I come to Him empty but full at the same time if that makes any sense.
My life, like so many others, was a wreck upon the shore and God still called me, I have let him down time and time again, but God still pursues a relationship with me ... sometimes I try to imagine what Enoch, Moses, Noah, Abraham, David, Elijah all had in their relationship with God ... or like in the Chosen, walking daily with Jesus, rabbi and friend. It is a hard concept for those of us who believe but have not seen, yet God calls us blessed for this faith in him. Soon! :prayer-hands: :heart:
