WHY THE SUFFERING, GOD? WHY, OH WHY? I did not wake up today to write this dissertation, but I feel led to reach out to some unknown individual (at least unknown to me anyway), to expound upon my own travails in life and to possibly bring relief to a saddened, suffering. heart filled with tremendous grief and anguish. I trust that the Holy Spirit will reach whoever He intends to reach, and that one individual will be blessed by Him. I truly believe that God has allowed me to experience my own deep, dark, horrific valley so as to provide hope to others who may be walking through their own gut-wrenching valley at the moment -- or are about to enter one. I can empathize with you, and all I can say is that there IS HOPE!!!! So whoever that blessed person is out there, this is for you!! May God bless you richly through your trial by fire!!! He loves you and will NOT forsake you! So many of us Christians have been dealing with terribly-difficult times the last few years (or longer), and will probably continue to do so until our Lord returns for us. Most of us are suffering in at least one of the following categories (and some of us in ALL of them): Financial, Marital, Familial, Physical, Psychological, Emotional, Occupational, Societal, Social, Scholastic, Spiritual, _______, etc. (Did I leave any out? If so, fill in the blank) How many times have you (as a faithful, serving, dedicated Christian) entertained any of the following thoughts? (be honest -- I must say with discomfiture that I have thought them all myself): “God where are you? I am falling deeper and deeper into this huge crevice, and there is not much further I can descend without being completely buried? It will take an immediate miracle from You to save me from the future that I foresee and worry so much about! How many more sleepless nights must I bear before You begin to alleviate this stressful and seemingly-hopeless situation?” “Lord, why have You seemingly abandoned me when I need You the most? Where are You? Why are You not answering my daily (hourly) prayers? I trust you, but this valley is SO DEEP and SO PAINFUL!!!” “What have I done wrong to deserve this fate? I know that I am a sinner like everybody else, and I cannot seem to help it -- I just continue to sin in some way every day. But I also know that I am saved by the Blood of our Lamb and that my sins (past, present, and FUTURE) are all forgiven through the blood of Christ. So why must I endure this type of pain and suffering when the unbelievers are thriving? They do not believe in You, they curse Your name, and they could not care less about allowing Your Will in their lives -- which would seriously disrupt the pursuit of their own selfish interests and endeavors. They seem to be living it up without any worries, while laughing and scoffing at us “ignorant” Christians who live in La-La Land” – who believe in the “Pie-in-the-sky of the great by-and-by”. “How much worse can it get before You finally pick me up, caress me in Your Loving arms, and save me from this tremendously debilitating burden?” When!!? God, why are you NOT answering my incessant prayers? If You don’t answer them now, then I cannot fathom how much worse it could possibly get before You ever answer them?” “I know all about the two sets of ‘Footprints’ in the sand, and that at the deepest points in my life there should only be ONE set of footprints (Yours) when You are carrying me when I can no longer walk. Lord, why are You not carrying me right now? And why are you allowing me to continue to walk alone through this hazardous and precariously-shifting sand? Even though I know You are beside me, it is just too hard to take another step!! Please lift me up NOW!!” “Would it be a sin Lord if I just took an entire bottle of pills tonight and just faded away in my sleep so as to be with you sooner rather than later? Of course I will never do that Lord (only You can give or take life), but I must confess that I desire so much to leave this depraved and wicked world that I am willing to take extreme measures if it meant that I could be with You sooner. I want to be with you NOW! I know I shouldn’t even contemplate such thoughts, Lord, and I truly apologize for my momentary lapse, but this is how LOW, and how DEFEATED I feel at the moment. Everything is going against me. I still trust that Your Timing is Perfect, but in my mortal cognizance, Your Perfect timing seems WAY overdue! When Lord, WHEN are you going to start fixing what I can’t fix on my own? Why aren’t you Rapturing us NOW!!? THIS BRETHREN, IS WHERE OUR SPIRITUAL JOURNEY ACTUALLY BEGINS!! Unfortunately, the cessation of our problems and the sojourn into “peace and tranquility” does not commence until we are COMPLETELY broken!! Not until we lose ourselves and finally accept (despite our prideful arrogance) that we cannot fix our own problems in our own “logical” way, and that we MUST surrender EVERYTHING, EVERY DAY to God. Not until this point in our walk of faith will we start to see any traces of any kind of answered prayer. God can only be strong when we are weak; when we finally give in, when we finally accept that we cannot do anything on our own. God can only work in our lives when we begin to place our COMPLETE faith in Him, and Him alone!!! Only when we lose ourselves and seek God in all earnestness , will our faith begin to blossom like never before. Our everlasting relationship with our Savior can only be fortified, solidified, buttressed, and reinforced here on earth through the trials by fire -- when God purifies, sanctifies, and prepares us for Eternity!! At the most dire of times, when life seemed hopeless, when I was completely broken and finally forced to let go of my ego and unconditionally submit my stubborn self to God, I determined to begin living day-to-day, one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. Each day I would ask God to get me through this ONE day, and then I would thank Him every night for getting me through that ONE day. Then I would begin the next day with the same supplication: “Please Lord, give me Your strength to get through another day because there is NO WAY that I can do it in my own power.” WHICH FINALLY BRINGS ME TO THE VERY CRUX OF MY MESSAGE: God DOES answer prayers? An astounding and absolute YES – He just does not answer our prayers in the way, or in the timeframe, that we think He should!!! Even though I continue to be challenged repeatedly by condescending unbelievers who attack my “ignorance” and “naivety” for my belief in a God who does not “appear” to answer prayers during the numerous trials and tribulations that beset me, I am still in good standing with the Lord because I have been doing a lot of kneeling. I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but I thank God for getting me to this point today that I could never have imagined possible a few years ago!!!! God began working miracles in my life when I began relentlessly praying when everything began going south; it was more PROBABILITY than POSSIBILITY that my life would be the exact opposite of what it is currently. I should have lost everything -- but I haven’t, and I thank God for His Grace in my life! My life is a living testimony to the “small” miracles that could ONLY come from a Faithful God in His Perfect timing. I would never want to go through that valley again (or for anybody else to go through it for that matter), but I am a better person for having persevered through it. All I can say is don’t give up, don’t give in, and don’t back down from the enemy. Claim the Name, the Blood, the Power, and the Authority of Jesus Christ to drive the enemy away each and every day – for the enemy never sleeps, never tires, and never desists from the assaults, harassment, and persecution. Though it appears that I have hopefully begun to start the ascent out of this frightful valley (oh, Lord, let it be!!), it has taken time and perseverance to work through. God’s answers to my prayers were not immediate -- in fact I had to sweat each day out for more than ten years (and I still look up daily requesting His Strength to endure ONE more day). But, I place my faith in a Loving, Wonderful God who never gives me more than I can handle. On those days when I think that I just cannot take one more thing going wayward without going ballistic, somehow God brings a certain person, or event, into my life at the last possible second that brings me the desperately-needed relief. All of a sudden I get a reprieve from the storm and am able to take a breath. Trust God TODAY, and don’t worry about TOMORROW -- TRUST GOD TODAY, and then when tomorrow comes you can trust Him for tomorrow. Day-by-day, one day at at time!! God DOES answer prayer, just not in our timing, nor as quickly as we pray for, or expect. I am just amazed that God carried me through that valley (even though I could not see him, nor feel Him), and He compelled me to trust in Him completely and unconditionally. I am far from where I should be -- for I still experience feelings of doubt and worry -- but I am so much closer to Him than ever. His Will be done in my life -- whatever it is!!! I thought I trusted implicitly in Him after I was born again, but I was still trying to do too much on my own and was getting in the Way of His relationship with me. For this I am sorry, and paid a steep price for my pride. And now, today, He has impelled me to relive and write about some hurtful periods of my life in order to encourage another Brother or Sister in Christ. God bless you whoever you may be -- God loves you and will carry you through every valley. Maybe it will require a period of your life with just His set of Footprints in the sand, or maybe it will be the RAPTURE!!! I pray for the latter!!! God bless you, you Child of Christ -- the Lord Jesus Christ has you in His hands!!!!!!!!!! I'm looking forward to seeing you on the other side. Humbly Well said! Indeed our troubles will continue until the end. He wants broken then submitted vessels. Because Abraham was faithful in believing the promises of God, he could offer up Isaac. Then Israel and a people were born. When we realize that God is the truth, the way and the life then we are born again. Again, I believe that God created us mortal, fallible and broken to begin with. Being made a little lower than the angels. Though Lucifer and the angels had it all, they still rebelled. And for those of us who do humble ourselves and find eternal life the struggles continue. Having been given less and having more asked of us, when we are victorious we will be above the angels. As God tries the hearts of men here upon the Earth, this will help insure that once there we shall never rebel again! For this cause we alone were offered redemption, whereas the angels were not! This also why we are told that the last will be first! And for this cause the Lord could offer His heart to the crown of His creation, Man! So then be encouraged one and all. It's not about the externals but indeed a matter of the heart. Our race towards Heaven our prize will end at death or the Rapture. Only then will all things be eternally settled. TR "Our race towards Heaven our prize will end at death or the Rapture. Only then will all things be eternally settled." Well said tenderreed, well said! Thank you for your continued strength, faith, and wisdom provided on this forum. Your pal who looks forward to meeting you on the other side, Humbly Likewise, with the greatest of anticipation! Tis no secret that I have often expressed my desire to meet the saints here at RITAN. Love & blessings....Tender Reed I had a difficult time reading your post, Humbly. It was like reading my own journey. I stopped at one point just to check to see if I didn’t write this! I was born a happy-go-lucky (I very much dislike the word ‘luck’ or ‘lucky’) child into a Christian home. I accepted Jesus at age eight and reaffirmed when I was 16. Went through the ‘wild oats’ season in my twenties but returned when I was 29. I did all the things ‘good’ Christians do but then went through a period of ten years or so suffering with depression. Three of those years were as you described. I had those very thoughts of ending the excruciating agony where every moment seemed like hours, sitting at my desk in my home office all day staring at a computer monitor that wasn’t even turned on. The only thing, the ONLY THING that kept me here was that I just couldn’t bear knowing that in the next moment I would be face-to-face with Jesus and having to explain to Him why, for me, His Grace wasn’t sufficient. That’s a sobering reality. So I remained here in my utter misery. This three year period in hell came about around the time the old Ritan site was switching over to facebook and I began to fade from my role, not only as a moderator but as a participant, too. As you mentioned, God will provide in His time. THAT is hugely important to understand. There is no way we can ever understand the enormity of our situation as we only have a field of view that is so very narrow. We think we see it in 360 degrees because, after all, it is us who are experiencing it. But that is simply not the case. It’s so much bigger than we can know. But thankfully, our Mighty God does see every single detail. Nothing escapes Him. There were many people who would come into play in helping me navigate the course, some played a minor roll, others a much bigger roll. Two men, in particular, were very instrumental in helping me get through. One knows who he is and I will be eternally grateful for him. He is TxThom, a moderator on the fb site. And I will mention the other, though it will probably come as a surprise to him. Thank you, David Roche, for being the humble, gentle man of God that you are. Even as I write this tears are touching my face. You have no idea how much your steady, godly ways helped to keep me calm during that storm! I have been depression free for three years now. I’m not on any medication at all. Praise God! Not only free but the ‘wolves’ no longer howl at the gates. I am completely free of it. Now, what did I learn? I may never know the entirety of it but one thing I know for sure. My relationship with God was always one of head knowledge. Now, I know Him in my heart, and THAT, if nothing else, made the horrific journey more than worth it. I also have a radically different view of people who suffer from depression. Unless you’ve really suffered it there is no way you can understand others who do. I also want to encourage anyone who is traveling the tempestuous road of trials and tribulations. There is an end to it even when it seems like there isn’t. Even when it seems God has abandoned you I can promise you with 100% assurance that He has not. Prov. 3 Verses 5 to 6 tells us: Blessing Yohanan Beautiful Yohanan, thanks for sharing. I also have been blessed by the teaching, wisdom and patience of both David and Tx Thom as well. Lovely gentlemen in every way! You also have brought many blessings here as well! Indeed, once again we are all broken vessels before the Lord. Yet He continues to sustain us all. How good is God?! For the most part, rather than to compare our brokenness and trials, I love to glory in the ways the Lord has ministered to each of us. Lovingly remembering our frames, and being the perfect Father! No doubt many rewards shall be added to those who have suffered greatly! Sadly as well, this idea also seems to be archaic thinking especially in light of so much teaching of today! The Lord is indeed compassionate, even now as we struggle to continue on until the very end! There is no God, like the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. No God like my God! TR :amen: There is no God like Jehovah! Just finished listening to “Days of Elijah” song (Judy Jacobs version). 12 years later ... still a powerful uplifting song ... guaranteed to put a smile on your face and bring anyone out of their depression. God is certainly good and He has knit together this family of believers. It is always such a blessing to read what each of you share and to feel the love that you all have for our Lord. One of the things I certainly look forward to in Heaven is to get to know each one of you much more personally. The Ritan family has been a major help in getting me through my time of tribulation. I cannot imagine journeying through the rest of our time here with you! :heart: What a rich thread of spirit filled transparency ~~ Thanks Humbly for starting it . ~~ ~no doubt moving the Heart of our God ~ ~ ~ I, too understand depression, having gone through a time I did not want to stay here anymore . . Over 42 years ago, my husband and father of my 3 little children just up and walked out. No explanation, boom, he just left. I was 29 without a job, lost my house, and spiraled into a depression, a dark place to be . ~ Desperate for answers to the ‘why’ of this life on earth only Jesus could give . . ~ , Oh, the Grace of God and His keeping, so real when all else fails . . I like the words Yohanan expressed: , “"The only thing, the ONLY THING that kept me here was that I just couldn’t bear knowing that in the next moment I would be face-to-face with Jesus and having to explain to Him why, for me, His Grace wasn’t sufficient." Are not broken vessels held in the Hand of our God, become His Jewels for Christ’s crown of Glory? And in His other Hand, a chalice golden, filled with the Blood of Jesus, God displays as the power to save ~~ ~ ~ we do not understand our trials, ~~ thankfully God always in perfect wisdom, values our destiny worth the Price He paid . . . Oh, YES!~ ~ ~Jesus became one of us! God displayed Graciously to us His Heavenly transparency ~` . . .but why? . God's overwhelming Love is His desire to make for Himself, at unspeakable cost, His own family. ~ What a reunion when we all meet on the foothills and meadows of Paradise. ~ ~ rejoicing and smiling as our Lord leads us onward, toward the Heavenly City of Jerusalem, ~ ~ onward to the Throne of Almighty God finally meant for us to adore our Majestic God in worship and praise so richly firing our spirits in the utmost of joy unto our God we shall ever adore ~ Beautifully said, Sis! You paint such a glorious picture and express the heart of God towards us. Indeed in our own imaginations we could easily see some other way, without so much of the pain. But the Lord had His reasons. I expect that it's part of the price we need to pay in order to wed to Him! He paid the dowry price for us, and He hopes we will do the same for Him! TR
[5] Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. [6] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
to learn the value of Sacrificial Love? . it is sorrows as well as joy, His way He wants us to know Him . .
