Hello siblings, hope everyone is hanging in there. I would like your input on this: Someone my sister knows came to Canada as a refugee claimant. She asked my sister for my contact information, my sister asked me if it's OK to give her my info. I said it's Ok. I went out to dinner with her once. a month later, she called me from her sister's place where she had been staying for months telling me that her sister called the police and wants her out. She asked if she can come to my place for a day or 2. I felt so uncomfortable, but I had to say no. It really bothered me that I had to tell her no. I spoke to a few people. All of them backed me up that I did the right thing for many reasons. First, her own sister had to call the police to get her out of her place and also if you bring someone to your place, who knows when they will leave. A friend of a friend in the US told me recently that he might visit me sometime. I am not sure what status he has in the US, I think he is worried about that. I also wonder if he is checking if it is OK to come to me eventually if he can't stay in the US. A cousin I haven't heard from in many years has been asking how to get in touch with me. I have helped people who needed it in the past in many ways. I do like to help. However, these days, i am hardly managing myself. I am very tired after work and go to bed very early. I have some errands to run, I keep postponing them because I am tired. ..............and I don't feel that I am up to anything anymore. I just drag myself to work to get a paycheque and pay the bills. I can only do these days what I have no other choice but to do. so many people with problems these days, but I can't have people wondering if they can stay with me. I come home and shut down. how would you handle this? How would you very politely tell people that you can't have them come over, especially when some of them might be close relatives. thank you @heidi Wow. Like the slogan, just say no. Just say no, I'm sorry, I can't do that, or that won't work, or something non-explanatory. Don't try to give a reason or excuse as to why. It's none of their business and you won't have to keep track of what you told who. @terry Thank you so much, Terry. I needed someone to tell me that I am doing the right thing in saying no. It is overwhelming that people don't just need any kind of help, but they actually want to come to my place. Thank you for telling me not to give a reason or excuse, just say no. thank you @heidi You're welcome. Also, not giving a reason doesn't give an opportunity to argue about the reason. Oh, I won't be any trouble, I won't take up much space, I won't bring in girls or drugs or germs, I won't steal from you while you're out.
