I have a few ... but the craziest place I worked for was ... actually the local Police Dept. during my senior year of high school. I doubled up on classes and originally planned on graduating a year earlier and then changed my mind. So my senior year I just needed to take English Lit class and it was 2nd period ... that gave me the rest of the day free to work. My mom worked for the public schools in vocational dept and she assigned students various work scholarship jobs. She gave me a choice ... the bank teller position was open or working at the Police Dept. I accepted the Police Dept. because I figured this would be more interesting and exciting. First day on the job the Lieutenant said to me never leave your jacket, sweater, umbrella, spare shoes/sneakers, etc. behind. I said why not? He said because it will get stolen and you won’t see it in the morning. I thought he was joking but he was dead serious. Any time the cops found drugs at traffic stops or pulled people over for speeding, the evidence was always stolen before the trial went to court. My main job duties were data entry ... had to input all the dispatched cards into the computer. It was eye opening reading about the crime that never got published in the local newspaper. When a bike got stolen, it asked how old it was and wanted a price value. Someone played a dirty trick on me and switch the codes so when the printout was run for them to double check my entries ... that bike code got switched and became a rape code and it had a dollar amount of $125 attached to the crime. I was accused of not paying attention and needed to be more careful. Deep down I know I entered everything correctly but I didn’t argue with them. Well ... another bike was reported stolen and it happened again. This time I said I know I entered the code correctly! So when another bike reported was stolen, I asked someone else to do the honor of inputting that dispatch card. Sure enough her entry showed up on the printout as a rape with a dollar amount attached as well. They narrowed down the programmer who was playing these dirty tricks and he got suspended for a few weeks. After entering all the dispatch cards they wanted me to work at the window when customers came looking for copies of their accident reports. I was told I had to charge them $1.00 a page. They charged this crazy fee so they could earn enough to purchase a brand new copier. Ever so often the local newspaper reporter would show up looking for stories to write. They made sure the major crime reports were excluded from the folder before I would hand the folder over to the reporter. One time the Mayor was at the window. He had a Big ego ... his name was plastered on every monument plaques in the city, but the problem was ... I never knew what he looked like. When I read the newspapers it was only the Yankees sports section and the comics. So one day he shows up at the window and he says “I would like to speak to the Lieutenant”. When I asked him “and who are you?” He went into a rage and started yelling and screaming ... “what do you mean you don’t know who I am ... yada yada.” I was so embarrassed but still didn’t know who he was until he finally said “I am the Mayor”. Others were trying to keep a straight face as I opened up the electronic door and he walked passed to the Lieutenant’s office. When the meeting was over and he left. They were high-fiving me and laughing because they couldn’t stand him. He would take advantage of the Sargent in the department because he owned a limo business on the side and was always asking for free rides into Manhattan and expected him to drop everything to drive him. The Sargent kept on hand a stack of out-dated egg salad and tuna salad sandwiches in the refrig (and labeled them “this is for the Mayor” and those who were sticky fingers knew better than to steal them). So he would placed them on the front seat of the limo and had the fumes stink out the vehicle as the Mayor sat in the backseat. One time its was sooo humid out he told the Mayor his AC conked out that morning as he drove him into the city. Of course the Mayor kept complaining about the awful smell. LOL The Sargent was very generous with us and would often buy our lunch meals. He liked White Castle Hamburgers and would call in the order 3 towns away and then assign the task to a patrolman to pick up the order. He would give the patrolman a ridiculous time to be back by and the patrolman would say “but Sarge that would be impossible with all the traffic lights” and then the Sargent would say “that is what the siren is for.” LOL The Mayor was later indicted on $5,000 in embezzlement scheme (dental claim fraud and 9 counts of mail fraud) in filing false claims for him, his girlfriend and daughter. Note: this job made me tough and prepared me later for the crazy temp job assignment with that male chauvinist who expected me to make the toxic coffee, put staples in his stapler, etc.
