Random Contemplation

These are some of the important questions that keep me awake at night. Most of them are originals, while a few others are borrowed because they fit the theme.

• Is a Clockmaker paid by the second, minute, or hour?
• Can a Silversmith ever have his reputation tarnished?
• Are Sees Candy employees ever allowed to think outside of the box?  If so, then why are most of their Operations personnel confined to cubicles?
• If Wordsmiths are so colorful with their language, why can’t they find any words to rhyme with orange, silver, or purple?
• Have you ever noticed that most Sword-Swallowers are a little on edge, while Fire-Eaters tend to go light on the hot sauce?
• If you wear a pigskin (taken from an elongated inflatable sphere), will that make you oink as you fly through the air like a football?
• Do Ice-cream salesmen every get cold feet?
• Do Pencil-makers ever see the point of their jobs?
• Can a mushroom ever be a fungi (fun guy) at a party?
• Why do the minds of so many people resemble concrete -- thoroughly mixed up and permanently set?
• Does a Chimney Sweeper ever realize how many ups and downs there are in that job?  And does his dog say “ruff, ruff” or “roof, roof”?
• If money isn’t everything, then why do the kids stay in touch so much?
• Why is it that so many people want to serve God -- but only as advisors?
• If you sit in the garage, does that make you a car?
• Why do we park in Driveways and drive on Parkways?
• Why do ships carry cargo and cars carry shipments?
• If you merged UPS with FedEx would it become FedUps?
• Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
• If you put lipstick on a caterpillar, will that make it a butterfly?
• If you put a tuxedo on a pig, will its room still be a sty?
• If people can dog-paddle, why can’t dogs people-paddle?
• When we get to the end, is that really the end or just a new beginning?
• I hope that I can die peacefully in my sleep as my grandfather did -- not screaming in terror like the passengers he had in his car at the time.
• Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
• Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things?
• Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
• Why does Goofy stand on two legs while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
• Why is a square meal served on round plates?
• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
• Did you ever realized that 6 out of 7 Dwarves aren’t Happy?

If I could find answers to these critical questions, maybe I could sleep a little better before the Good Lord comes for us.

God bless you all!

Humbly