my greatest fear:
that nothing changes.
I'm with Nic. I've thought about every scenario, the storms, the earthquakes that might threaten. We just had a big heatwave here in Oregon (nothing like what most of the country had to endure, mind), but I have faith that God will protect my family through it all. I'm not afraid of the coming birthpangs that might wake more people.
But I am terrified that the end of September will come and go, and the beginning of October will come and go, and we'll be past that "perfect" scenario for Daniel's 70th week. If that happens, then nothing of what's been happening will make sense. If God decides to delay again, then the lunar tetrads in '14/'15 mean nothing. The other signs in the heavens are nothing as well. "Business as usual" as Nic puts it.
If nothing happens, then maybe climate change is really what's going on. Maybe God's not controlling the earthquakes, maybe there IS some HAARP conspiracy earthquake weapon. Or maybe it's HAARP controlling the weather too. If nothing happens, then this entire year has been nothing but wishful thinking on my part, in my desire to leave this world so I don't have to face "the rest of my life."
If nothing happens, then I have absolutely NO clue what to look for with regards to signs of Messiah's coming, because at the moment, it all seems quite obvious to me. But if the Rapture does not come, if the Tribulation isn't at our door, if the UN divides Israel and the Lord lingers, then... how can I possibly know when That Day is actually approaching? It would seem the Lord would have to do it all again, even bigger and better than today.
And another fear of mine: becoming bitter or jaded if nothing comes to pass. Either filled with disappointment or depression that might drive a wedge in my relationship between me God. I will try my hardest to trust and clutch onto His robes so I don't fall behind, but I've grown so deeply in love with our Lord that if He doesn't come, I will probably have myself a good cry for having to wait for my Beloved indefinitely. It will be like getting a phone call and a letter that your lover is returning from the war, only to find out when he doesn't show up that, nope, he's been deployed for another few years and isn't coming home.
I'm terrified I'll have a broken heart...
Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~~Psalm 73:25-26 (ESV)