I am just fed up with life, and wish Jesus would just return. There are a lot of things about my life that I wish were different. I keep doing the same things over and over again and can't stop. I can't seem to change any of them, and the very fact that I'm in despair I know means I have not put God first. I'm a recent graduate who hasn't yet landed a job, and it makes me think about the current state of the job market. It makes me depressed just thinking about it. Yes there are fewer jobs out there, but it seems like what's left has become so beurocratic. It's easier for people who have connections to get the jobs, and the interviews/applicaitons are not much better. I've been to enough in my day to know, how irrelelevent most of them are, and how little they pertain to the actual job. It's like the application process isn't based on merit or ability, but who you know, and how well you can schmooze. I hate schmoozing and working for dead end jobs.
I don't feel like I'm well prepared for anything that is thrown at me anymore. I'm tried and want it to let up. I know I probably sound like a complainer, and should just buck it up, but I definitly don't feel like an overcoming Christian in any way. I don't get the point of life if it's always in the gutter. I feel a little guilty for looking to the rapture as an escape simply because I can't cope.