Howdy you fine group of Ritan graduates!! I need not give a speech on all the wonderful mothers out there who have raised your kids with the most effectiant tools of discipline-like food depravation--Just kidding-just wanted to know if you are paying attention!!!
I come from the strictest of upbringing! Back in my days of growing up in the midwest in the little town of Fragrasso, Iowa you had a teacher with a wooden paddle in one hand and an english lesson book in the other!!
My name by the way is Miss Eppenhastner GothMuller of a northern Finland descent; my parents settled in a small farming community in Benchmarket, Germany before hopping on board a merchant ship headed for New England in the mid 1800's!
They ended up settling on a plot of government land just south of the oil town of Waspbugger, Iowa!! The local economy was really booming with many migrants coming to this area of the country, to look for oil fields and to pick for gold while at the same time picking their noses!!
My parents' names were Helga and Georgio GothMuller and they had a house full of kids to raise in the small town of Fragrasso, Iowa!
When I was born in the war year of 1939 it was just after a dust storm came over our farm property and covered not only our house with ten feet of sand but also filled our britches full of fine dust which made the laundry chores take front seat in our household; my childhood years were rich with memories of finding lost jewelery in these giant sand dunes that dotted our landscape, which were carried in the winds as far away as Tippilu, Indiana!!
Once I found a gold wedding band in one sand pile that I gave to my mother on Mother's day; which in turn she gave to her oldest daughter during her marriage vows!! That was after the dog had passed it in his stool from licking it up off the floor a week earlier!!
Well the depression years were hard on all of us siblings growing up and we all took different jobs in the big city to etch out a living so that we would not have to depend on others for our survival; the job my oldest sister took was being a cook at a local cafe where breakfast was served twenty four seven; she really knew how to make great buttermilk flapjacks-the secret ingredient was cows milk with the cream still unchurned!!
I took a job at the only school in town which was named after our mayor who called the school Clifton Dagwood Elementary School!
I did not want to teach children still in their toddler years because I had not the patience to put up with their bedwetting ways and their high octane sugar filled bellies from bad diets!!
Homeschooling was always available for these younger rascals until they could learn to know right from wrong; that was when I came in to lay down the law with my strict way of handling misbehaving kids with a sharp tongue and a firm paddle!!
There was one boy in my thrid grade class that always liked to joke around and pull Becky's hair and enjoyed clowning around with Morris by riding pony around the classroom; his name was Scott and he always kept my ruler within arms reach!!!
There was one time that I had him go to the chalkboard and I put a math problem on the board to have him solve and it was 22 goes into 404 how many times?
Scott went up to the board and with his broken piece of chalk writes the answer 22 divided by 404= 18.8!!
Which was wrong and I had another smart student named Lisa go up and put the correct answer on the blackboard; 22 divided by 404= 18.363636!!!
Being such a wisecracker and all--- it appeared that Scott went up to the blackboard and adjusted my math problem by defining his answer by saying that 22 times 18 equals 396 with 8 left over--so it is 18 + 8!!
I said to him--give it a rest!! You will never be a smart math student-just smart enough to get away with third grade equations!! So take your seat and don't repeat!!
I found out later he grew up to become a standup comic and he gets small jobs at the radio station over in Blankwallet, Iowa doing impressions of canidates who are running in this next election!
I as his third grade teacher could never give him a failing grade since I am also his aunt on his mother's side!! We are somewhat related down the family linage!
Well it looks like my tea pot is whistling in the background so I must go now and take my midday break out by that oak tree that stands near the treeline where once my grandfater had his tractor buried in 15 feet of dust and sand from that duststorm back in the 1930's- oh, that was also the place where my Grandmother passed away when she was trapped under that plow trying to take cover from the approaching storm--I sometimes look over at the headstone there where she is buried and think what a brave woman she was to have to raise all us children on such small resorces and to have to survive under the most extreme weather conditions as we faced during the depression years; that was one tough lady and I have the marks on my behind to show for the love she put in for making me turn out the best that I could be!!
Here's to you Helga GothMuller for all you have done for me! May you rest in peace--Until that final morn!!!
Boy this tea sure is good this day!! It's got a cool rich aroma and strong flavor!! Oh--there's that mother robin looking for another worm to feed her youngin's!