Alright, well to make a long story short, my brother is 17 and has been a troublemaker his whole life with school, family, everything and it has gotten worse throughout the years. 

One day a few years back, it reached a climax and he was kicked out of my house and was taken to my Grandmas house to live there to get his attitude straight. When he was 15 or 16, he got in trouble and harassed by the cops. They locked him up in a juvenile detention center, was then transferred to a camp and was brought back home recently last summer an is currently on probation which ends, I think on his birthday, June 6, 2011.  When he first got home, he was all sweet and dandy and played nice, but as the days passed by, he revealed his true colors and did not and has still not changed as my family and I hoped. Being at home during the summer... was literally like hell on earth for me because there was really not one day without my mom and brother screaming their heads off at eachother. All they did and still kinda do is argue with eachother. The arguments were horrible. Living with him is so bad, I would never wish this on anyone no matter what they have done against me. In fact it was so hellish, like for example, I would be in my room and whenever I would hear my mom crying or screaming or yelling, that would let me know that my brother is home. Sometimes I tried to kill myself because it was that bad. My dad and him have got into shouting matches and they almost got into a fight one time when my dad pushed him. hes weird cuz at times he's happy and jolly and talkative and other times he's so coldhearted blackhearted I should say and, if u even tried talking to him, he will immediately just cut u off and shut u down or give u a mean, disgusting attitude, that's how rude he is when he's like that. There were times however, where he was happy and jolly bit that was all a fake act and the next day he would immediately go back to his mean sinful ways.  Thats why its hard for me to believe whether he's  true or not. 

It's been a long time since I've given u guys an update but here it is:

About a month or two months ago, my parents found out that my brother got a tatoo of the the gang the he's supposedly in across his chest( I didn't see it and wouldn't wan to). My Mom got enraged, and once my Dad saw him he definitely saw red. It was basically world war 3; my mom crying, my dad yelling, just awful. 
Recently he got a job at McDonalds right by our house and he seems to be doing fine there so he says and there were times where he would put his "mask" on and be all buddy-buddy with us and then take it off and just be so heartless. Just yesterday, he started with my mom and he said that he was tired of her and that scrutiny is because of her and he's blindly thinking that my sis and me are always in our rooms and don't really say too much is because of her and because they argue which is untrue; it is him and we have told him face-to-face eye to eye that it was him but for some odd reason I guess he's denying that and puttingthe blame on someone else.
I'm smarter than that and I know how manipulative he can be and I know he's trying to play the victim and make himself look good and make us feel sorry for him.
Anyway, my mom told him that if he was so tired of him to leave the house am sky bro was about to leave, but, obviously, he doesn't even have the audacity to leave.
So basically my mom and him aren't talking. I'm not talking to him, my Dad's not talking to him, my sis isn't really talking to him.
We've tried and tried and tried, but we can't help someone who doesn't want help...
It hurts me so much because he treats his own mom like dirt and just hates her with pure hatred.
He's leaving the house, finally, on his birthday, June 6th, when he turns 18 and when my parents can finally give up their rights for him. So....I'm longing for that day...

But sometimes you gotta let go of the people you love, and if they come back to you they were always yours and if they don't come back, they never were.......

But Ive been wondering, am I doing anything wrong by not talking to him or socializing with him? I still love him despite his evil ways and I have forgiven himand conitnue to do whenever e does my family or me wrong.
Am I in the wrong? I need your guy's prayer and support on this. Please....

Prayers going up for your whole family .

 There is nothing too hard for God ; nothing impossible for HIM !!!

 Lord in YOU we have confidence , bonnie

Dear 777dgr777,

That must be a very painful situation that you and are parents are going through.  I couldn't help but wonder if there are drugs involved with your brother, especially when you said that he was in a gang and the sudden mood swings.  I'm not saying that he is, but it could be a possibility. 

I will pray for you and your family.  If you all could go into family counseling, that would be so helpful in your situation, providing everyone is willing to open up and work on the relationship with each other.  There must have been some reason why your brother rebelled.  As far as talking to him, ask the Lord what He wants you to do.  Sometimes distance is helpful in painful situations, and sometimes the Lord might want you to be more pro-active in the reconcilliation between the two of you.  I will pray for the Lord's wisdom and guidance in your situation. I will also pray for salvation for your brother.

A red flag to me is when you said that you tried to kill yourself in that situation.  I will pray for you, too.   I pray that the Lord will cover you with His love and a peace that passes all understanding. 

dgr,

While prayers are being sent I think you should strengthen your spirit by focusing on the Word.  So, I am going to ask you to review your favorite or easiest to remember bible verses.  What do they mean to you?  You will find what your spirit needs there.  This will open your "ears" to the Holy Spirit and to the helpful things  believers will tell you here.

I think Boomer might be right.  I have an aunt that is bipolar.  I lived close to my aunt and uncle and even lived with them for part of a year when I first got my job and before I was married.  No matter what you do with these type of people they will try to make you feel bad.  I bad as I felt for a while about the situtation I was given peace to just avoid being around her.  I will be praying for you.

dgr,

I believe that the Lord is in the process of doing a mighty work in your family.  You have come a long way yourself dgr through God's grace recently.  I think that prayer from RITAnow en masse is an awesome idea and will surely avail much for your family.  I am feeling that your families prayers of agreement will bring God's action even quicker. 

I feel like your brother needs this time to get out and find himself.  Sit down together with the rest of your family once he's gone and believe God for leading your brother to exactly the persons who will hear him and help him.  Plead the blood of Jesus over him.  You cannot get lax on prayers in a matter such as this, you need to hit your knees daily on his behalf, never let the enemy get a foot back in. Bind satan and his demons, powers and principalities away from him in Jesus name, daily as well.  Ask God to erase the lies and deceptions that satan has planted in your brothers' head and ask the Father to open the eyes of his understanding to the truths in the Word and to plant those into his consciousness to take the place of the enemies lies.  Ask for his ears to be opened, so that anytime the Holy Word is spoken around him that God's Spirit will give him revelation of it and soften his heart toward Jesus.

Prayer is really the greatest tool that we have and it is always advisable to dig out scriptures to use and keep them next to your kneeling area.  As you use them they will get into your Spirit and God will supernaturally bring those words to be in your life and into others lives as we feel lead to pray.  I love my little Promise Book because I have scriptures at my fingertips anyplace anytime to cover anyone's needs.

May God give us Ritaians the prayers that are His perfect will for you drg to continue growing and trusting more in Jesus and for your brother. And that your family can be made whole again in Him and through the awesome grace of all of Jesus' great gifts.

YsiC, In His Love, By His Spirit,

Dear Daniel,

I read what you wrote and I really empathise with you and your family. I'm a mother and have experienced pretty much all of what you said. I have been the mother that has seen my children say and do things that weren't very nice or Godly. I have cried over what has been said and done. But the Lord is changing my children by His Hands! They are seeking the things of God for themselves. Reading their bibles, going to church and praying. Here is what I do know-that even when people are acting their worse-they still have the ability to hear what you say to them and feel how you treat them. Please ask God to continue to put the love and forgiveness in your heart and the right words to say to your brother. Even though he may be leaving to go somewhere else-you still have the ability to speak life to him. Many times when I thought my kids weren't listening or watching what I was doing because they were acting out-they still were. And now after time, I can see that it made a difference, even though at the time it was like I was just talking to myself. I pray that God embraces your whole family in love and peace and that the enemy would not have his way in your brother's life and that God would lead him down the right path. In Jesus name.

Mikki

Dear Daniel,

Will pray for your family situation - God can move mountains!!

I don't think it's wrong of you not to want to talk much to your brother if it hurts you so much, however, remember the very people who hurt Jesus the most - He still loved them.  So love your brother with all your heart the best you can even if it feels like going against your will to do so.  Just keep loving him - and pray for him also.  It does sound like he may have bi polar disorder - or he's just very good at putting on the "friendly mask" at times.  I think your brother is carrying a LOT of pain Daniel and that is why he acts like he does - pain (emotional pain) often comes out as anger.....

Lifting you and your family up in prayer - and remember to love your Mum and Dad too and show them that you do - it must be very difficult for them to know how to further help their child and as a parent I can tell you how heartbreaking this is.  Eventually you have to let them find their own way and with prayer and faith - hope that they make a breakthrough. 

ysiC, Susan in Aussie Land.

Praying for you and your family.

I am in a similar situation as you, Daniel. I know how hard it is to let go of your brother, or in my case, sister. It has been 11 years of constant turmoil for me with my sister and her family. A few years ago I spent my entire wedding anniversary with my sister, who was so drunk she probably didn't remember any of it the next day. I have given up all of my time to her and her family, and have now had to let her go. I have changed my phone numbers and blocked her from my email, as she has been using texts, voicemail, and email to call me and leave horribly messages, calling me every name in the book. It has been terrible. Lately she has been emailing me about how "fat" I am and how I am gaining so much weight and how I need to stay out of church because I am a hypocrite. She equates me gaining weight with her alcoholism. It has been terrible, absolutely terrible. Well, I admit, I have gained weight over the last 7 weeks because I quit smoking. I am trying to work on keeping the weight down but it has been so hard. She sees this as a vulnerable area for me and attacks me any chance she gets.

It is so hard to be around people like this. It is hard to love them when they are so unloveable. However, it's just like that old saying goes "A child needs love the most when they least deserve it". We don't deserve the love of Jesus, but he still loves us anyways. Unconditionally. We need to love them and pray for them. On the other hand, we don't have to be their best friend and become a door mat for them either. In my case I have told my sister I am here for her and she has abused me terribly. I have had to step away to preserve myself, my husband, and my children. I keep praying for her and am leaving it in God's hands. He has all the answers and he knows how to get through to her. I don't.

I will keep you in my prayers for sure Daniel. I am so glad you posted this, because it really hits home for me. It is so hard right now, but God will get us through! God bless you Daniel.

Daniel, my story is a lot like yours and Ready's. I lost two sisters by having to let them go. They're alcoholics and they behave horribly. Our whole family was seriously disfunctional. I've been called a hypocrite like Ready, and many other severely awful things that shouldn't be said to another human being. All because I'm a Christian.

I kept taking it because I was raised that love was taking whatever someone dished out, which is not the truth. I continued to do this way after being saved. Then I found Romans 12:18 which says to be at peace with someone as much as you are able. It means that you are only responsible for your half of the relationship and they are responsible for their part. When I figured out that there was nothing else I could do in the relationship, I let them go. (But not without a lot of prayer and an ok from God.)

I'll say this. I felt so relieved when I walked away from the relationships, let them go, and committed them into God's hands. Then, I felt guilty for some time for feeling relieved, but God healed my heart, and it has been much better since then.

My advice to you, is don't let the feelings you have now harden your heart toward your brother. You can choose to forgive by your will, not your feelings. Forgiveness releases you from harboring hatred. You just continue to say, "by my will not my feelings Lord I choose to forgive my brother." What happens is that one day you'll realize that your feelings have finally matched up with your will, and forgiveness has come. Guard your heart.

God Bless and Love,

Verna

Thaks faithwon for your reply. That's sad what you had to go through but all things work for the good of those who love Him dearly. Thank you for your advice and I pray that God will bless you and your family... :)

@Bree

I'm sorry that you had to go through all that...

And what you say is so true! You get it perfectly! You hit the nail on the head!

In our situations, its is NOT the parents fault because my mom, my dad and you, as a mom showed their kids LOVE...and desptite the fact that my bro treats her like trash, she still shows him LOVE...

You and I both know firsthand that it is NOT the parents fault in this case because my parents have done all that they can do and you have done all that you can do....

I hope and pray for a miracle healing, deliverance, and restoration within your family...

God bless you and your family... :)