The reason why my dog Scarby doesn't hold down a stable job for more then a few weeks is because of his attention deffecate disorder-I mean defficit disorder-boy that was a close call!!!
I took my pet dog Scarby in for a psychological test to see what type of intelligence he might be harboring in that flabby head container between his shoulders!
This examiner decided to test Scarby by putting up a carrot on a stick in front of his nose and by ringing a bell to see if Scarby would eat the carrot on the response to the bell ringing-the only thing he did was to cover his ears when the bell rang without a pause for one whole minute-he was looking for a snooze button on the examiners belt buckle!!
After the Anvil tablet Scarby took kicked in it was on to the next test! He was told to run through this maze of partitions in this large room and when he reached the end he would pull on this rope with his teeth and win a reward which was that same familiar carrot on a stick-instead he just crawled on his belly underneath the particion all the way over to the end of the room where the carrot was suspended and he just threw it at the one way glass mirror where the examiner was hidden behind!
This action on Scarby's part was actually a show of true intelligence! Most subjects would just walk or limber around this maze of particions and bump into dead ends as if they were on a tug boat of loaded nuclear missles in the detenation zone of the Atoll Islands !!
So having past this psychological test with FLEAING colors; it was now time for Scarby to enter this special school that has Kindergarden classes up to the 9th grade!!!
You talk about slow learners-this class Scarby entered at his level of intelligence was for the most advanced slow learner in his mental ability! He was now entering the 9th Grade of Kindergarden or what they call the K-9 grade!!! Did ya get the pun-K-9---He's a dog for Pete Sake-can't you see the irony in this title--a Dog ebetering the K-9 grade of Kindergar-----you people reading this are making me bend nails with my forked tongue!!!
OK! Now that Scarby has entered the last level of his learning stage he was telling me about the lesson he learned the other day while setting around on the floor with the other animals his age while on their grass artifical turf mats in the school auditorium while it was time for them to take a nap before the teacher handed them a small set of block cubes to put together!
Scarby noticed two other animals sleeping while on their backs and they let their underparts show to the whole world! Scarby had to take his grass mat and tear it in half just to cover up the exposed parts of two Doberman dogs who liked to hang loose with their tongues also drooping down on the side of their jaw all the way to the floor into a puddle of doggy drool which made the gymnasium look like one of the Five great lakes of America!
When nap time was over it was time to put these block cubes together which Scarby had no trouble doing-he just observed the smartest dog in the room and just copied everything it did!!
Then it was time to finish out the day with Recess period! This was a no brainer for Scarby-this is what he does all day long-just hanging out in the backyard and playing imaginary games with the ground squrrels-he like hiding their nuts behind large bolders and seeing the frustration on those littler critters faces when they give up the search in a fit of silent rage!!!
Well it is time to go now! Scarby has to go to bed and get up tomorrow and off to another School day which will just take him one day closer to his final semester which is at the end of this month-then he can do lawn jobs for the rest of his life like the rest of use slow learners!!! Hee! Hee!!!