I cannot believe the luck lately of poor Scarby!!!! He just got back from the Pearls Before Swine Scandal; and now he is faced with serving on Jury Duty--what of hunk of burning bad luck!!!
I do find it a kind of irony that we were both in the kitchen when I picked up the piece of mail and read the JURY Duty Notice to Scarby while he was drinking a COURT of milk-get it Jury duty and court of milk----forget it!!!
Anyways, now I have to see if I can find a SUIT for Scarby to wear when he goes in for Jury Duty- Hopefully I can find him a law SUIT!!! Get it? He is going in to Court-he needs a Law SUIT----forget it again!!!
I'm working a tough audience here folks!!!
Well, I guess I will take Scarby down to the goodwill to find him a second hand suit to where to court tomorrow!
Scarby hates appearing in court because he knows that all those speed tickets he has buried out back near the oak tree might be brought up during the questioning stage of his duty service!! That reminds me---Scarby before you go to bed make sure you perform your doody service out back!!!
( Time passes and Scarby has made it through his first day on as juror number 4-he now tells Scott of his experience while at the courthouse)
Scott- Well Scarby how did your Jury service experience go today?!
Scary-If I tell you will you get upset and ground me for a whole week of sundays?
Scott-depends on if you used your time in the courtroom to mark your territory on the judges bench!!
Scarby-I only wish it was that harmless!! It was more to do about the case I myself and the other jurors had to set in on!! It wasn't pretty!
Scott-What do you mean by that?
Scarby- Let me explain! We 11 jurors, except for the wild raccoon who looked guilty with that natural mask painted on its face-had to be replaced with an alternate juror!
We had to judge a case that involved a farmer who had stolen another neighbors cattle everytime his head got out through the fence and onto the interstate and became instant roadkill!
The farmer had stolen his neighbors cattle for years before anything looked suspicious!! He even invited the other neighbor over for dinner using his own cattle roadkill for meals!!!
The only evidence we 12 jurors had to present to our deliberation room were the pigs stories!!! Those pigs saw everything!!!
The main witness who took the stand was the farmers pig named Kevin BEACON!!! He sizzled with excitement in the witness chair!!! The only trouble was that he had to plead the 5th ammendment for fear that the farmer would SEWY Him!!! (I think that's a piggy word-not sure)!
Another witness that took the stand was a Henhouse bird who witnessed the farmer taking a rope and hauling the neighbors animal over the fence!! The one juror who EGGED him on was I, Scarby of course!
The Henhouse chicken had finally CRACKED the case open-now the farmers allaby was deep fried!!!
Finally the farmer took the stand and told the story of how he had trouble making ends meet and needed to find more food to get him through the winter-his cows were dying from escaping and becoming road kill out on the highway and his harvest was ruined because of the years drought!
Of Course, I Scarby took a hanky out and wiped my eyes and blew real heard to unplug my nose!! Then I got up and confessed that the farmer was innocent-and I begged the Judge to set the farmer free of any retribution or jail time!!
Well, all ended fine and good-except the other alternate juror, the local Badger, who was on meds, had to be put into my place before the final phase of the trail came to an end !
Scarby-The only good that came out of this Jury Duty experience is a game plan for my next jury trip--I have it in the bag on how to be disqulified so I will not have to serve as a juror in the future-I will plead ---- not guilty!!!
Works every time!!!!!