Prayer Request: Struggling to Know if We Should Try to Move

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  • #129305

    Watchman35
    Participant

    I would like to ask for prayer again from my Ritan family, for wisdom and guidance from the Lord. Truthfully, there are so many areas of my life where I feel like I need prayer and God’s help that I could fill a book. I won’t subject you to that, although some might argue that the length of this post says otherwise!! :Hi:

    I will limit the focus of this prayer request to whether or not we should try to relocate at this time in biblical history. We moved from the Kansas City area to the Nashville area about 4 1/2 years ago. We moved here in large part because I felt that the Lord opened the door and wanted us to be closer to our home-schooled daughter, who was going away to college at that time, so that we could be physically closer to her and continue to be a spiritual and emotional support to her. By moving to our current location, we were about two hours away from our daughter instead of 9. Despite how horribly things have turned out for us here in the South, I will, to the day I die or am harpazoed, believe that I was diligently seeking to follow the Lord’s leading as best I could discern in making that decision.

    Our time here in the South has not gone very well for my family. My precious daughter had her tender heart thrashed by a hypocritical brand of southern cultural “christianity” that, frankly, none of us had ever experienced before. I am originally from Los Angeles and my wife from Kansas. While both of those areas have their own flavors of how sin manifests itself, none of us had ever encountered anything comparable to the hypocritical Laodicean brand of cultural “christianity” we ran into. We never found a church that welcomed us as family and still to this day feel like we are in a foreign land. Then I got deathly ill from Lyme, and our world was further decimated. I was not able to work full-time for almost 2 1/2 years, our finances were pretty much destroyed, and my marriage has been damaged in a way I frankly do not expect to ever recover from.

    Now, my wife is miserable here and wants to move. Our daughter has graduated and gone west 2,000 miles to pursue law school. We have no blood family anywhere nearby and no church family. There truly is absolutely NOTHING in this place to keep us here, other than the mere fact that we are here now and have jobs.

    Against that background and with more detail that I suspect you ever wanted to know, I am seeking the Lord to understand His heart and mind on what He would have us to do now. I run at about 70-80% healthwise on any given day, and never feel “normal” any more. I can work, praise God, but the days of waking up feeling take-it-for-granted 100% healthy seem like a distant memory. I am frightened about my ability to take on the stress of a move and a job change, but do not want to be selfish in ignoring my wife’s concerns.

    If we sold our house, I think there would be some equity to pay off the debts we have, which is something that I have asked the Lord to allow me to do before I leave this earth, through death or more likely, rapture. Paying off my debts is something very important to me. Not as a basis for salvation, but as a means of doing what is right and honoring God. I don’t know if the economy bubble is going burst soon and the window of opportunity to sell at a profitable price will close. They are starting construction on a new development across the road from us, so I don’t know what impact that will have on our ability to sell if we wanted to. The task of packing up a house to move somewhere else seems overwhelmingly daunting in itself. Part of me just wants to stay put in hopes of “running out the clock” and having the Lord come for us before October. Anyway, lots of factors to take into consideration and far beyond my ability to figure out. I really do not feel up to the rigors and demands of trying to relocate back to the Midwest, but I told the Lord and my wife I am willing to try if that is what He wants me to do.

    Any Godly wisdom or insight you have would be appreciated, as would prayers for wisdom, grace, peace and strength to walk in obedience to whatever the Lord would like for me to do. Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a man who once would have taken on such a task with confidence in my own strength, but who now painfully realizes my inability to do so. I’m tired, and weary at times of the seeming cost of trying to do the right thing. Yet, even as I write that last sentence, I am mindful of Peter’s words. “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the Words of eternal life.”

    John 14:1-3 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also."

    #129306
    churchgal
    churchgal
    Participant

    Im so sorry your experience in Tennessee has been so bad!…I have had the total opposite experience, have been in east TN for 32 years now and even though I was originally a “yankee” I have been welcomed and am considerably happy here. Im sure it makes a difference that I have family here and my husband’s family is here also. I dont know where you are in relation to Nashville but our son goes to school in Murfeesboro and has found a great church home at New Vision there. I will pray that the Lord will lead you and your wife in the time that we remain in the direction that He would have you to go, and pray that in the meantime you find peace, joy and happiness :rose:

    "and all creation sing with me now, lift up your voice and lay your burdens down...let all of creation sing with me now fill up the heavens let HIs glory resound, and every knee will bow, oh in every tongue praise the Father, praise the Son and the Spirit in One!!"

    #129314
    Loz
    Loz
    Participant

    Prayers for you and your Wife in finding the correct guidance and timing from the Lord.

    Loz :]

    Psalm 18:2
    The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.


    #129316
    Regina
    Regina
    Participant

    praying for healing for you watchman, and asking God to guide you, for restoration
    :rose:

    Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li
    I am my beloved's, my beloved is mine

    #129317
    Seismo Joe
    Seismo Joe
    Participant

    …as would prayers for wisdom, grace, peace and strength to walk in obedience to whatever the Lord would like for me to do.

    Watchman 35, I am sorry too for all the hardships you have experienced and it is my prayer that you will find relief as you continue to lean on Him. God Bless ><> you and yours Watchman 35.

    Your brother,
    Joe

    Amos 9:15 echoed by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Tuesday, October 1st, 2013 at the United Nations…"And I will plant them upon their land, and they shall no more be pulled up out of their land which I have given them, saith the LORD thy God."

    #129374
    humblehorse
    humblehorse
    Participant

    I’d say get your skates on!! It’s just bricks and mortar… Go where you’ll get the support and love that you and your wife need at this difficult time in your life!

    Peace and Love! xx B-)

    ....Peace, Love, Rock 'n Roll. X


    #129408
    tonyels
    tonyels
    Participant

    Looking at a move as well & fighting he’ll literally w prayer everyday to make it happen as we are led by the Lord. Praying for you & God bless!

    #129412
    NoFear- JustFaith
    NoFear- JustFaith
    Participant

    I’d say get your skates on!! It’s just bricks and mortar… Go where you’ll get the support and love that you and your wife need at this difficult time in your life!

    Peace and Love! xx

    I ditto this.

    1 other thought – we can’t plan our lives around the rapture. The rapture will happen in God’s perfect time and he will have us prepared perfectly in that time. Trust in that.

    And (OK, 2 other thoughts) – assuming that you have talked and listened to God on this, it sounds like you are at a place to close this chapter in your life. Take a deep breath and get on with the new things that God has planned for you. Coming out of a ‘Job time’ does take a while for all to be restored and this may be a step in that direction. BTW – I have come to love the story of Job because of the Job time that I had in my life. God is so amazing!!!!!

    #129416
    No Other Rock
    No Other Rock
    Moderator

    Here are three ways God works to move us in a new direction:

    Disruption of Our Plans
    Dissipation of Resources
    Dissolution of Relationships

    http://www.charismamag.com/spirit/prophecy/22661-3-ways-to-discern-god-is-moving-you-in-a-new-direction

    _____________________________________________________________

    If you think you might have received a sudden call, here are three suggestions to consider:

    Test your equipment. My friend didn’t take act on his first impression. He first tested his equipment: his devotional life…so he prayed and asked God to give him additional insight and confirmation. If you think you’ve received a prompting to act, especially one that might require drastic changes, first evaluate your devotional life. If it’s not as strong as you think you’d like, start there. Reading the bible and time spent in prayer is always the best preparation for action.

    Seek counsel. My friend didn’t rely solely on his own judgment. He sought the advice of those he trusted, and especially the one with whom he’d share the consequences, his wife. Sudden calls are to be spiritually discerned, so seek counsel from those who, themselves, seek God. Of course, any contemplation that contradicts the scriptures cannot, by definition, be a call of God.

    Don’t panic. When my friend decided to pull the trigger and resign, he did something even more courageous. He resisted the temptation to force a solution. It would have been easy to let anxiety take over and take the first job that came his way. Instead, he went on high alert, carefully and intentionally evaluating options, knowing there was a purpose for his move and asking God for the wisdom to discern it. Unknowingly, he followed the advice of theologian Henri Nouwen: “Take time to believe in your free choice before you move forward in a new direction.”

    Sudden calls can be some of the most exhilarating ways to begin a new chapter. My friend experienced immense personal growth and a deepened relationship with his wife. But sudden calls are not the most common form of new chapter beginnings. Healthy discontent is much more common.

    Three signs that you’re entering into a new chapter in your life


    ______________________________________________________________

    So, how do you begin? Here are five basic steps for receiving wisdom from God.

    1. Acknowledge that God has the answer. God is the source of wisdom for all things. Realize that He not only has the answer, He is the answer. Proverbs 2:6 and 9 states, “For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding… Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path.”

    2. Pray and ask for God’s wisdom. How can you be sure God will answer when you ask Him? James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” So simply ask for God’s help and then…

    3. Believe He will guide you. Faith is an important component to accepting God’s wisdom. You must recognize the fact that God wants to communicate with you. Proverbs 4:18 says, “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.” God’s direction in your decision will become clearer and more distinct as you continue to pray and ask for His help.

    4. Get in motion. You have probably heard the saying “It is hard to steer a parked car.” Begin to do your part and research your vocational options. Travel with your family and investigate the prospective area first hand. Explore the housing market, recreational opportunities, and cost of living. Your move could be a blessing in disguise, allowing your family greater financial freedom.

    5. Check your decision against God’s Word. James 3:15-17 provides the characteristics of true godly wisdom: “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” Have the courage to ask yourself whether your choice meets these qualifications for God’s wisdom, or whether there are still any outside influences directing your path.

    If you sense any anxiety or confusion, keep praying. God’s wisdom will direct your paths in a peaceful manner. God is the source of all wisdom. Only He views your life from an eternal and comprehensive perspective.

    http://www1.cbn.com/inspirationalteaching/divine-direction%3A-bringing-god-into-your-big-decisions
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    Principles to Live By

    I have learned six principles to guide us as we seek God’s will in any situation (adapted from “Getting a Grip on Guidance,” by Keith Davy, Campus Crusade staff member).

    These principles are meant to be used together. As you spend time working through your decision, make a decision based on the whole picture. It can be dangerous to make a decision on one principle you feel strongly about while ignoring the other 5.

    1) Surrender your attitude and personal desires.

    Think through why you would want to make a certain choice. Are your desires in alignment with God’s desires?

    As German evangelist George Muller said, “Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord’s will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is.”

    2) Meditate on God’s Word.

    When you make a decision, it should line up with, or at least not contradict, what God has already said through the Bible. There are no hidden answers in the Bible, but guidelines and truths – an explanation of who God is — that can help you make decisions.

    3) Spend focused time in prayer.

    God tells us “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6, NIV). As you ask God what to do, write down the sense of direction you get from Him over time.

    4)
    Seek other people’s opinions.

    Find mature, dedicated Christians and ask them what they think you should do. The opinions you receive may conflict, but they should give you another perspective to think about.

    Remember, you are still responsible for the decision you make. Seeking advice is wise, but you still need to work through the other principles. Do not let someone else make your decision for you.

    5) Consider your circumstances.

    God can open and close opportunities. God, not circumstances, should guide your decision-making. But God may use events in your life to point you in a certain direction.

    6) Think through your decision logically.

    God’s Spirit can direct your mind and reasoning. Sometimes Christians can want to follow God’s will so badly, they forget to think the decision through. Create a list with all of your options and write out the benefits and drawbacks to each.

    Look At the Big Picture

    Try journaling as you work through each of these 6 principles and look for clarity to emerge. If you are still confused, it may be that you need to wait before making a decision and continue to think through these guidelines.

    But if all 6 principles are pointing in the same direction, prayerfully move forward, trusting God to guide you as you go.

    Remember God is Still in Control

    Nothing you decide will surprise God. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps…”

    Paul wrote it this way, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-36).

    So take a deep breath. Work through the six principles and remind yourself that while your decisions matter to God, God is still in control.

    https://www.cru.org/train-and-grow/spiritual-growth/how-to-know-gods-will.html
    _______________________________________________________________

    The following 10 principals will help you to make decisions that glorify God and honor others.

    1. What Biblical Principles Should Inform My Decision?

    Proverbs 2:6 “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.”

    Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

    1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

    2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

    Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.”

    Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. What does the Bible have to say about that?

    2. Who can help me better understand what God’s Word says about this decision?

    3. Make sure you are not the only one who holds to your interpretation.

    2. Do I Have All The Facts?

    Proverbs 18:13 “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.”

    Proverbs 18:17 “The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Ask a lot of questions.

    2. Don’t fall prey to “wishful thinking”or let your emotions get the best of you.

    3. Remember that there are two sides to every story.

    3. Is The Pressure Of Time Forcing Me To Make A Premature Decision?

    Proverbs 19:2 “Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet errs.”

    Proverbs 21:5 “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Beware of the “once in a life time” deal and the lure of instant gratification.

    2. Don’t let the fear of missing out drive your decision.

    3. When in doubt, leave it out.

    4. What Possible Motives Are Driving My Decision?

    Proverbs 16:2 “All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives.”

    Proverbs 20:9 “Who can say, ‘I have cleansed my heart, I am pure from my sin?’”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Acknowledge that you have “blind spots.”

    2. Honestly assess your motives, both good and bad.

    3. Give others permission to speak in to your life.

    5. How Should Past Experiences Inform My Decision?

    Proverbs 26:11 “Like a dog that returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”

    Proverbs 17:10 “A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Look for patterns of behavior – “triggers.”

    2. Understand how your family back ground might affect your thinking.

    3. Learn from your mistakes!

    6. What Is The Collective Counsel Of My Community?

    Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is victory.”

    Proverbs 18:1 “He who separates himself seeks his own desire. He quarrels against all sound wisdom.”

    Proverbs 18:2 “A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Avoid having many separate conversations.

    2. Recognize the difference between “selling” and “sharing.”

    3. Know when to “open the circle.”

    7. Have I Honestly Considered The Warning Signs?

    Proverbs 10:17 “He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, but he who forsakes reproof goes astray.”

    Proverbs 16:25 “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

    Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Don’t think you are the “exception” to the rule.

    2. Remember that God’s way is the best way.

    8. Have I Considered The Possible Outcomes For My Course Of Action?

    Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

    Proverbs 14:15 “The naïve believes everything, but the prudent man considers his steps.”

    Proverbs 27:12 “A prudent man sees evil and hides himself, the naïve proceed and pay the penalty.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Do the “long math.”

    2. Assess the potential risks.

    3. Have a contingency plan.

    9. Could This Decision Jeopardize My Integrity Or Hinder My Witness For The Lord?

    Proverbs 25:26 “Like a trampled spring and a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.”

    Proverbs 10:9 “He who walks in integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will be found out.”

    Proverbs 20:7 “A righteous man who walks in his integrity—how blessed are his sons after him.”

    Proverbs 22:1 “A good name is to be more desired than great riches, favor is better than silver and gold.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Work toward the “center” rather than flirt with the “edge.”

    2. Ask yourself, would this pass the “newspaper” test?

    3. Keep short accounts.

    10. Is There A Better Option That Would Allow Me To Make A Greater Impact For God’s Kingdom?

    Proverbs 11:30 “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise wins souls.”

    Questions To Ask

    1. Ask yourself, what story could God be writing?

    2. Don’t assume that just because something is hard that it is not God’s will.

    3. Understand how God has uniquely gifted and resourced you.

    http://www.watermark.org/blog/decision-making-principles
    ___________________________________________________________________

    Fair use for education or discussion purposes

    I Am the Lord! Besides Me there is no Savior. For there is no other name under Heaven given among men by which we must be saved. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved!...For in him we live, and move, and have our being!

    #129418

    Barry
    Participant

    God bless you with peace, brother.

    I’m sure I’m not alone in this thinking, but waiting for the Lord to answer is most difficult for me. It goes against my instinct of moving and acting and making a decision instead of waiting on the Lord. I believe it’s scriptural to be still, patient, and wait for God to answer.

    Sorry you’ve had such a tough time in Tennessee. I have lived in East Tennessee my entire life, and I thank God for allowing me to do so.

    I’ve always loved the old bluegrass singer, Doyle Lawson. He has a song titled “Help is on the Way”. The chorus gives us a good perspective:

    “Just hold on a little longer, help is on the way,
    A brighter day is coming,
    for those who believe and pray,
    Help wont help tomorrow, if you give up today,
    Just hold on a little longer, help is on the way.”

    John 6:67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? 68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. 69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

    #129419
    Tender Reed
    Tender Reed
    Participant

    Your heart is the Lord’s no matter where you live, and His heart is towards you always. Many times we often forsake the liberty we have in Christ to choose as he gives us the desires of our hearts. Our attitude should always be “lord willing”, and then after prayer, to simply step out.

    Seems to me that there are three things which must be considered or prioritized. Firstly, is the Lord calling you elsewhere or making you uncomfortable where you are. Secondly, consider the feelings of the bride of your youth and despise her not, but see if the Lord would give leading through her. Lastly, how will your financial lot be changed if you indeed move.

    If your wife submits to the Lord and you as well, then indeed consider her council. If she does not respect the authority God places upon you or follow the Lord’s leading in her own life, then seek only the Lord. Let it be said that it is well with your soul not matter what neighborhood you call home.

    If you are in need of rebuilding your marriage, or you have lost your wife’s trust, then make this your priority. In so doing, establish your heart & spirit before the Lord with all integrity. And He will take care of all else. I am not saying to let your whole vocabulary consist of “yes dear, whatever you want”, far from it. But rather restore God integrity in your words and your marriage.

    TR

    #129421
    Goodcheer
    Goodcheer
    Participant

    There’s a lot of good advice here, so all I can add is Proverbs 3:6:

    In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

    And Psalm 119:105:

    Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

    I will say that what I gleaned from your post is that your wife is miserable where you are now, and you are tired and weary at the thought of a major relocation, especially dealing with Lyme disease. I believe Jesus has the perfect answer for you both, and I’m praying He’ll make it clear to you.

    Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.


    #129422

    Watchman35
    Participant

    I sincerely appreciate the prayers, feedback and wisdom from everyone who has taken time to respond to my original post. Painfully aware of my desperate need for the Lord.

    John 14:1-3 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also."

    #129424
    Tender Reed
    Tender Reed
    Participant

    The battle is the Lord’s. Challenge Him with your integrity, your faith, your obedience, and your releasing it all over to Him. He will respond!

    TR

    Votes of thanks [Watchman35, lpullen, TakeMeHome, Loz, Goodcheer]

    #129426
    Mom of 2
    Mom of 2
    Participant

    Hi Watchman,
    Sometimes places are for a season, I will br praying for you. :rose:

    We have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of God's power may be of Him and not of us. 2 Cor. 4:7



    Votes of thanks [Watchman35, TakeMeHome, Loz, Goodcheer]

    #129432
    TakeMeHome
    TakeMeHome
    Participant

    Praying for you Watchman that the Holy Spirit lead you in these major decisions. Lots of good info given here.

    Votes of thanks [Loz, Goodcheer, lpullen]
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